Clint Barton: Guide and Owner's Manual
by Erestory
Summary: Tired of tripping over arrows? Wondering why there is a army of birds outside your house? Wondering why there is suddenly a archery target in the kitchen? Read the manual.


Congratulations!

You are now the owner of a fully automated **Clint Baron **unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your sexy archer, please pay close attention to the following instructions.

**Basic Information:**

**Name: Clint Barton**

**Date Of Manufacture: **Year of 1976

**Place Of Manufacture: **Marvel, Nine Realms

**Height: **Around 5'9"

**Weight: **Unknown

**Race: Human**

**Your _Clint _unit will come with the following accessories**

Three shirts

Two pants

2 pair of shoes

2 Bows

2 Quivers full of arrows

1 Nest bed

When you first open your **Clint **unit, he will be tense and quiet. Have a few drinks and sparing matches and he will become your pal.

**Cleaning: **The **Clint **unit is fully capable of cleaning himself but wont refuse help later on.*wink* He will help to keep the house clean.

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**Programming:**

Your **Clint **unit is a fighter and a smartass, and can carry out the following functions:

_Best Friend_**: **The Clint is as cool as a cucumber and makes an excellent friend. You will have a lot of laughs, play many pranks and video games, cause Fury a lot of headaches, and raise Coulson's eyebrows a lot.

**Date: **He is a smart, charming and handsome soldier. With him as your date you will be the envy of every woman.

**Sparring Partner: **Years of fighting has sharpened **Clint**'s battle skills with knives, bow & arrow and hand to hand. Want to learn how to kick some ass? Put a arrow in someones eye? Ask your Clint.

**Lookout: Clint **has excellent eye sight and is great with heights**. **Need someone to watch out as you sneak out the house? Playing paintball course and you cannot see your target? Stick Clint in a tree and he will cover your back.

* * *

**Your _Clint _unit comes with five different modes:**

Companion

Teacher

Friendly shoulder

Planner

Hawkeye

**Companion: **This is activated whenever **Clint** is with other units. He will crack jokes, tease people, be a smart-ass, drink (if at a bar), go to parties and prank people. He will also react differently to different units in this mode.

**Teacher:** Activated when **Clint** is teaching someone how to fight in any style. He will be strict, hands on, and firm in discipline.

**Friendly shoulder****: A**ctivated when a unit is down and turns to **Clint**for comfort. He will listen to them talk, wipe their tears, hug, and offer advice. He will also never tell their secrets to anyone for anything.

**Planner: **This is activated when **Clint **has to plan anything from picnics, dinners, weddings and counter-attacks against crazy aliens.

**Hawkeye:** Activated when **Clint **is called to action either by mission or by battle. He will suit up, fly airplanes, attack, defend and capture the villains.

* * *

_**Reaction to other units:**_

**Natasha Romanova**: This unit is a fellow avenger. The **Natasha** and **Clint **are really close and would die for each other. Together they will spar, drink, talk, watch movies, eat, sit in silence, and go on missions together.

**Bruce Banner**: This unit is a fellow avenger. When around the **Bruce** unit the **Clint** will try to avoid making the other go into **HULK** mode. Other than that they will eat, watch movies, and laugh at **Tony** units together.

**Thor Odinson**: This unit is a fellow avenger. When together they will drink, spar, play video games and watch TV. The **Clint** should not be left alone with the **Thor** if he has done a lot of pranks recently.

**Tony Stark****: **This unit is a fellow avenger. **Tony **will spend hours making new and improved arrows for the **Clint** to try. When the **Clint** is not hiding the arrows then he will express approval over the upgrades. When arrows are not being made they will joke, troll **Steve**, eat out and try to skip SHIELD meetings.

**Steve Rogers**: This unit is a fellow avenger. These two are great teammates on the battlefield and great sparing partners off of it. The **Clint **will also help ease the **Steve** unit into the present times. They will visit museums, explore Youtube, study facebook, play video games such as 'Call of Duty' and eat out.

**Nick Fury**: He is the **Clint** units boss. They get along fine.

**Phil Coulson**: The unit is a good friend and handler of the Clint unit.

**Loki Odin-Laufeyson**: The **Loki** is the friend/enemy of the **Clint** unit. If** Loki **is in possession of the** G.S.o.D. **(Glow Stick of Destiny) he will mind control the **Clint** unit. When he is not in control the **Clint **will attempt to shoot a **Loki** with an arrow. If **Loki** does not know his heritage the **Clint** will maintain the **companion** mode around **Loki **and they will pull pranks on people, eat, play video games and run **Fury**'s blood pressure up together.

* * *

**Frequently** **Asked Questions**

**Q: **My **Clint **keeps shooting things with arrows and mom is on her last nerve. How do I make him stop before he gets killed?

**A: **Build the poor unit an archery field or get him a membership at one. The shooting will go down drastically.

**Q: **I got a **Loki **for my birthday and now he and **Clint** have already destroyed half my block in less than 2 days. How do I save my city?

**A: **You need to pay attention to the reaction to other unit and the units reaction section. Check the Loki unit and see if his eyes are green or blue. If blue: reset and keep a better watch and things will go back to normal If green: Tell them to stop sparing so hard.

**Q: **My Clint is always watching Lifetime instead of sports and getting frustrated when he attempts to talk and spar with people. What can I do for him?

**A: **Your unit is lonely and desperate for the right company. Buy a **Natasha** unit. She is the **Clints**'s best friend and things will get comfortable again.

**Q: **My **Clint **does not sleep good in the bed I gave him nor on the couch. Now he has bags under his eyes and is very grouchy and moves slower than my grandpa. How do I help him get some sleep?

**A: **Look in the box he came in and pull out the 'nest bed'. He will sleep on that very well and recover all his missed sleep.

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**Warranty: **With proper care, the **Clint **unit will live for years and die of old age, unless a battle kills him. However, if you get tired of the short haired Legolas, you can always send him back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).

_**AN: I own nothing.**_


End file.
